Love-bombing is characteristic of most cults. Prospects, recruits and members are drowned in a sea of love and caring. Recently in an evangelical church I heard the pastor describe his visit to two cultic groups in which he praised their love-bombing and urged that his church adopt the same loving attitude towards visitors and members.

Should the evangelical church practice love-bombing? Is this what Christ meant when he said, “By this will all men know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another,” (John 13:35)?

I’ve heard cult members say, “Of course we practice love-bombing: Who’d want to be in a group or church that practiced hate-bombing?” This attitude highlights a common misconception. Hate-bombing is not the opposite of love-bombing. The opposite of love-bombing is unconditional love. Love-bombing is highly conditional.

The cults will love you to death while you represent a prospective convert to their group. As a member a tight family love will surround you as you faithfully promote their cause. However, when it is clear that a prospect will not join the group or a member voices doubts, create waves, or leaves the group, all love ceases. Indeed scorn is immediately heaped on these individuals, and remaining members are told not to have any contact with them.

All time, effort and love-bombing is then directed towards new prospects and the faithful members.

Is this the love evangelical churches should practice?

Unconditional love is what God practiced when he sent his Son to die for us “while we were yet sinners,” (Romans 5:8). He doesn’t love us because we might become or are his faithful servants. He simply loves us. He will disapprove of our sin and approve of our faith but He will always love us.

Churches need to love visitors because they are humans created in God’s image and not because they are prospective members. The love needs to continue if the visitor chooses to associate with another group of believers.

Problem members need to be loved even if they create problems or leave in a huff. Christians need to practice God’s kind of love.

Leonard Brenner